Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
