I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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