i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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