it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
