today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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