I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
