ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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