I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
