Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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