your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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