Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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