How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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