dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
