Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
