Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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