dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
