Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
