We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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