Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Randomize
