you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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