so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
