Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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