last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
