Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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