worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Randomize
