how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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