should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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