I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
