What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
