Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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