just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
