I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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