did you get engaged???
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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