Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I wear drunk well.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
