Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
