Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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