Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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