btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
