yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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