Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
