She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I am full of burrito and curiosity
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
