It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
