Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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