i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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