last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
