He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
