you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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