just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
only you would photoshop your dick
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
