I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
