the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
