i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
