ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
When are your genitals available?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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