I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
