She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
