my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
