Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
