do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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