its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
