You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize