is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize