I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
