Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
