Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Drunk is a universal language darling
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
