I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
