I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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